Tuesday, June 14, 2005
a new begining
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
it's not easy. i woke up this morning, just lying around in bed thinking if i had a one last hug from him, the pain in me would probably lessen a little. at least there's a proper breakup and things between the both of us would not be awkward anymore. i still feel he's trying to get away from me. he's like trying to avoid me. that's quite cowardly i think. or he's just still not ready the face things. i don't know.
it's funny how we started and ended. i never thought he would actually be the one ending things like that. he has waited for about 2 years and finally, POOH, his dream sorta came true. and now that he has it, he just kissed it goodbye. oh no no no, he didn't kiss it goodbye, he just flicked it away like he always flick his best friend's ears.
it's cruel. really. i'll get over it.
okay.. ANYWAY.. i woke up this morning, erased all the unhappy thoughts in my head and looked forward to the day. i was supposed to go to bukit timah market to have lunch with ryn and colina. ok, i went there early, because i was kinda bored at home. (i studied history before leaving the house okay!!!!) i was wearing my new roxy shirt and funny, i wore my pink mini. i've not worn it for ages. heh heh heh. i walked and walked and to my surprise, the carpark was empty. then i realised the market was closed for cleaning. i thought and thought and thought and thought. is it possible to do what i want to do this morning? so i called, and i was greeted by a very hostile voice. a voice i was addicted to. and was disappointed to hear it so hostile.
he was so hostile, i guess he wouldn't want to see me at all i guess. so i just walked away from that block with my heart feeling real heavy.
i only wanted a hug.
ok, so i called colina, and asked where he was. that stupid gay was still at home. so i walked and walked and walked to conan's bus stop. and took a bus to meet my girlfriend. we went to watsons and just looked here and there. it was so cold in there. i spent some on WOMEN'S NECECITIES. okay, i didn't SPLURGE.
we had lunch and waited for the Gay to arrive. he came and we crapped about pushpa. she really tickled me. we wanted to rent movies to watch but conan was so hum ji, he didn't want to watch horror. haiz..
so they came to my place and we played with our collections of earings and other accessories. we later watched a movie ryn brought. it's a RA movie. lol, an american werewolf in paris. aiya, the only sex scene was when the guy grabbed his lover's boobs. the others are just blood and violence.
after it, we played with make up. it was so funny! conan is so stupid. ryn and i were washing our face in the toilet and he was like, 'NO, I'm NOT going to wear lipstick!' but when i went out, i saw him applying lipstick. so gay. omg omg omg..
after conan left, ryn and i did a mask.
Ryn: What are you thinking about?
Me: just drifting away...
so we began talking about our dreams. i told her i always dream about killing ppl and she always dream about mysterious men.
so we talked and talked.
she later left and i had tuition. my brother told me my parents are letting him have the master bedroom and they are moving to the highest bedroom. i was like WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT!!!!!! then they talked about fengshui, yada yada.... i don't really care.
conan said there's time trial tomorrow. HOW???? my legs are so weak now.
i'm quite afraid to be on my own. he was always there to keep an eye on me. always there to help me with my work and nag at me. i miss it now..
i can do it!
6:41 PM |
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